from learning to living

There is one thing I have learned about life. As God leads me down my path, I can learn all I need to know but it doesn't mean a thing until that knowledge goes from my head to my heart. I am amazed at the lessons I have been taught. Living those lessons have brought them into my heart. It's not just saying, it's doing. If the lesson never moves to the heart then it is just a bunch of stored information in my brain. Once I put the info into action it starts to sink to my heart and I really live it.
Yes, it is so simple in thought, but not so easy to live. If it was easy to live right then everyone would be doing it. It is a struggle, it is suppose to be and it is about making mistakes. I learn so much when I fail. I can let it beat me up (and sometimes I do for a while) or I can learn and next time fix it (or the 10th time fix it, my stubbornness makes it a bit difficult to get it right the 1st time).
I laugh because I have heard people say I am so smart, or I know so much. I don't feel that way most of the time. What I know is only because I have failed and failed big. I have done the wrong thing, said the wrong thing and blamed others. One day God blessed me with the knowledge that the only thing I can fix is the person I see in the mirror. I am trying to fix me one hurddle at a time. I feel ovewhelmed that I am never going to make it. I know that is a lie, because I won't give up, I won't give in and I won't settle for less then God has for me. I get discouraged and throw up my hands. Then I pick myself up, get down on my knees to pray and that keeps pushing forward.
All I can do is my best, no more. Today is just one more day of moving what I know from my head to my heart and becoming a better me.